Finding Your Way - Through Your Why

Tag: purpose

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Personal Growth – Deciding on a Coach, Mentor, or Consultant

The title of “Coach” seems to be a buzz worthy descriptor in the modern era. But what exactly does a coach do and do you need one? Is a “Mentor” just someone that you look up to with more experience that can help you? Perhaps you just want a “Consultant” to give you the best advice possible on your business or personal life. Differentiating between the three terms can be helpful towards your personal and professional personal growth. They all do overlap some in defination, but understanding the key points can help you decide which is best for you.

Defining a “Coach” for Personal Growth

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The term that gets thrown around most in the personal growth space is “coach.” But how exactly does this term relate to your personal or professional life?

A coach is definitely someone that is playing on “your side” in life. They are close to you and know what you are working through. Coaches have a level of expertise and tend to know more than you on the topics you are seeking to understand. A coach is someone that is going to play the game of life with you, not above you or below you.

Coaches “sponsor” you – they help bring you along in life. They work with you on the specific areas of personal growth you feel you most need. A good coach isn’t going to alway tell you how to achieve what you want. Rather, they guide you along your authentic path towards your goals. Often, they have walked similar paths and can provide necessary perspectives.

Ten plus years ago, people that needed coaches were typically behind in their business or personal aspects of life. This has changed in the recent past. People that seek out the expertise of coaches today are some of the most successful and ambitious people. They aim to achieve the highest level of impact, purpose, and meaning in life.

Many of the most successful people today ALL have “life coaches.” This encompasses Executives, Entrepreneurs, Writers, Influencers, and many more walks of life.

How Mentors Impact your Life

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“A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you.”

Bob Proctor

A mentor is an individual that you will aim to share 100% of your life with. This includes the good, bad, and ugly. They are going to support you regardless. Mentors may not necessarily know more than you around what you are bringing to them.

Often times, mentors are people that are older than you and have more “life experience.” They differ from a coach in this regard because a good coach doesn’t have to have a particular age. However a good coach needs to have a deep understanding of the topic you wish to grow within.

Mentors need not give advice simply on professional careers. Like coaches, they can provide insight and guidance on personal lives too.

You go to mentors with all sorts of aspects of your life. Perhaps before committing too much in a relationship. Or possibly before investing into a certain business. They don’t tell you what to do – but through their experience they help you figure it out.

We need mentors in our lives that we can bring ideas, problems, and needed points of perspective from all aspects of life. They may not always have the perfect answers, but their level of experience often outweighs yours due to the time they’ve experienced life over you.

Does this mean that ALL mentors need to be older than you? Not necessarily – but this tends to be the norm to the definition.

How Consultants fit into Personal Growth

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Coaches and mentors tend to be more personal when it comes to their services and advice. This is one of the delineating factors between those two titles and that of a consultant.

Consultants tend to be “less personal.” You generally aren’t going to hire a consultant to give you personal advice regarding your love life. The relationship with a consultant is more business to business and more “transactional” in nature.

Consultants often have a level of expertise that pertains to certain aspects of business. They are hired to provide you a level of view that perhaps you aren’t seeing. Often they possess a knowledge advantage that can assist you.

Maybe you want more understanding of how to maximize labor in your business? Perhaps better marketing? These are avenues most left for professional business consultants.

You would likely want a consultant when it comes to higher levels of your business over your personal life.

Summary

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The modern world and the smart people within it are always looking for the edge when it comes to achieving their purpose.

As we seek to live more as our authentic selves we should aspire to seek the knowledge others can provide us. It comes down to understanding what you most need and specifically what aspect of life or business you are aiming to improve within.

I define myself as a “Possibility Mindset Coach.” There are many, many different types of coaches out there. The term “life coach” has the most uniform understanding for coaches that aim to help people in different aspects of their lives.

But remember that our lives have many different bridges we are building towards our success. Be sure to identify what specific area you most want growth and coaching in. Ensure that your goals align with those of your coach, mentor, or consultant.

What areas of life do you find yourself needing the most advice, support, or perspective within?

I’d love to hear from you…

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Watch Your Own Movie

How much stress and life-struggle comes from watching other people’s movies? How often do you “watch your own movie?” We want what our friends have. Their social media posts seem better than ours. It seems their children are more well behaved than ours. Vacations they take are even more extravagant than ones we get to take. The constant daily grind often is perpetuated when we tune into the broadcast life of others around us. Peace, serenity, meaning, and happiness is brought to you through watching your own movie, not the movies of others.

But how do we steer clear of the traps of watching others movies so that we can maximize the lives we live?

Here are some tips and life hacks that you can implement to continue living as your authentic self, rather than envying those around you.

Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin

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Look, by now we’ve all heard about body shaming, confidence issues, and the like that force some people to look at others with envy.

Stopping this infectiously bad habit takes some rewiring of the mind. Start with these steps:

  • Assess yourself by your health – not your bodily figure
  • Depending on your physical fitness, decide what steps you need to take to be more fit
  • Set S.M.A.R.T goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound) physical health goals such as
    • walking / running at a certain pace
    • how much weight you want to be able to work out with
    • what is your cholesterol level and where should it be?
    • blood pressure and what target you should be at?

By using actual health and fitness goals, you begin to see yourself in a better light. Gauging yourself against how physically fit you should be for your age is far better than trying to pin yourself against others in terms of how they look versus you.

There is no telling how physically fit someone is that “looks attractive.” However, you working to become your best self health wise, will begin to add more confidence and security of mind. It will help you live as your more authentic self. This is just one step in watching your movie over the movies of others.

Discover Your Life Passions and Live Them

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So much in our lives comes from watching others. When are we going to jump into the water of life for ourselves?

We look to others that are living what we enjoy, yet often don’t believe we can do what they do.

What are your interests? How about your passions? Would you be doing something different in life if you could?

Make a list of all the things in life you love. Be as far reaching as you want. Here are a few that I am very passionate about:

  • Travel
  • Outdoors
  • Exercising
  • Writing
  • Reading
  • Life-Long Learning
  • Consciousness
  • Psychology
  • Philosophy

My list could go on quite while longer, but I think you get the point. If you are going to watch your own movie and not the movies of others, we must find a way to intertwine your life passions into purposeful intent within your daily life.

Discovering your purpose in life is where you begin to really entwine more meaning and excitement into your life. You begin to focus heavily on what it is you can do for yourself and others rather than wishing and hoping after what you see others do.

  • What does the world need that you love to do?
  • What are your passions and talents that you can bring to the work you do to serve those world needs?
  • Take these passions and talents and put them into practice in all you do!

Even if you aren’t 100% in the chosen career field you want, you can still bring your talents and strengths into your everyday job to begin living your purpose. Want to find purpose at work? Change your perceptions. This will give you more meaning and you’ll quickly find yourself watching your own movie, rather than hoping for a new job or career change.

Live and Be at Your Best

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Rest easy if you know you’ve done the very best you can.

I go to bed and sleep easy at night if I know I have any problem or life situation the best I had to give. When asking yourself that question honestly, only make adjustments if you know you could have put in more effort. If you know you gave the maximum output; rest easy.

Know and live by your values. Develop a code of conduct that you can live within. These are values you will not compromise and will look for in others you bring close in your life.

When you authentically live as your best self, it is far easier to live with and watch your movie over getting caught up watching the movies of others.

What it all boils down to is life is about YOU. Not those that you watch around you. What are you doing to live as your best most authentic self?

Are you living out your purpose and passions? How can we be better at this together? Would love to hear thoughts and comments as we aim to grow and achieve more together.

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12 Lessons for Life and Leadership

What is it that matters most in life? Is it personal gain? What about recognition and status? When we sit back and ponder on what we want to achieve and attain in life, hopefully we think about the impact we make on others. This is where our truest moments of self-worth and accolades should be found. These 12 lessons for life and leadership will not only help you attain more, but also leave a lasting legacy.

1. Lead with Love

Leading with love will ensure that you begin and end each day with the right mindset. It is my personal belief that when we serve others, we gain back more in return. Therefore, upon leading with love and true care for others in the world helps keep us within the right frequency to gain the same back.

It sounds cliche, but who doesn’t want more love in their lives? Putting it out to those we interact with, even love and care for everyday strangers, it going to help you get back what you put out. And that is far better than the opposite effect.

2. Allow Leadership into Your Life

Who or what is guiding you?

Set up the mental construct for what you believe in and how you want to be lead. What is your purpose? How does that purpose guide you? Upon figuring out this important aspect of life, you can begin to look for more learning, teaching, knowledge, and leadership that can help you further round you into your best self.

This learning and leadership you gain then can be put into place into your life for greater impact for those around you.

3. Listen More than You Speak

The famous phrase – “we have two ears and one mouth for a reason” rings true here.

Don’t be so apt to jump into conversations with your opinions and validations. Rather, choose to speak with intent and purpose. Listen to conversations rather than trying to speak over them.

Upon practicing this “more listening and less talking technique” it also will hep others realize when you do speak up, it is going to have a lot of insight and meaning.

Resist always being the squeaky wheel and instead work to become the calm, collected, stoic; then when you speak, others truly will listen.

4. Keep Others Remembering their Essence

When you are true to yourself, it helps others become more true to their self. The saying of “Lead by Example” is the foundational principle here.

When we as leaders or people of purpose, vivaciously live our lives through meaning, others can’t help but take notice. Even those without their true “North Star” will want to find one.

Why not better others around you through keeping them honest about their truest purpose? Helping others in this manner truly generates great lessons for life and leadership.

5. Watch for Repetitions

When we are carefully looking for the patterns in life and how it unfolds, it helps us be better prepared for our futures.

Life happens in the ever present moment only, but through becoming watchful of the pendulum swings we can better anticipate challenges or ensure we don’t get too high in the positive momentums.

In all our lives, we’re going to experience the pendulum swinging – we need to be watchful and observant of it.

6. Live with Balance

Try your best to not do anything in excess.

Proper balance in life is important for any leader, entrepreneur, or purposeful individual. It is easy to get caught up in the excessiveness of life. This can be in things that are good for us like exercising or of course in the more negative aspects such as binge drinking to forget a stressful event.

Life is meant to be lived in balance. Even the earth, moon, and seasons move within the same balance. We need to live in accordance to a similar cadence. Nothing in excess – but enough of what we need. Enough work / enough time off. There is no trophy for who works the hardest or longest.

7. Reflect Often

How can we see where we are going if we haven’t paused to look at the path we’ve traveled?

Making time to reflect on your decisions, progress, failures, and victories is important. Reflection is what purposeful individuals do. It is a lesson for life and leadership that no one should do without.

Whether it be weekly, monthly, or quarterly, plan some time into your calendar for a day to go on a retreat. Make it just for you. Could be for a walk in the park, a hit in the mountains, or a trip to a new town just to sit at the cafe.

Whatever works for you, just ensure you make time for that reflection. It helps to write those moments down in a journal so they can be reflected back on through time. It will make you a better leader and individual and certainly is one of the most important lessons for life and leadership.

8. Be Aware of Your Emotions

Too often people feel they need to be the boulder that slams into the lake falling high from the cliff.

What comes of the individuals around you after those massive waves calm into ripples on the water? Even after the water is still again the emotional scars can remain.

Purposeful individuals and great leaders are aware of their emotions. They do their best to ensure they don’t rock the waters as they pass by. The waters of life can be choppy enough, why add more waves?

9. Be a “Net-Giver”

Ever meet those people that always take from you but never want to give? It can be your time they want, your money, your toys, or anything else. They want, want, want!

Don’t be that person! Be the person that shows up for others and asks how you can be of service. I promise you’ll find yourself happier and always receiving even more in return. It is universal law.

I don’t mean “over-give” either. Be respectful of your time, money, and resources. But with the right balance, aim first to give; rather than take from others.

10. Be Authentic and Transparent

Once you begin to live with purpose, it becomes easier to be authentically transparent.

Most human beings like to avoid confrontations, but it’s a fact of life. We are going to face them. Being truly genuine with others and having their best interests at heart means telling them the truth.

Once you get a few genuinely, transparent, and authentic conversations under your belt, it becomes easier. No person of purpose is going to go far in their goals without these lessons for life and leadership.

11. Rely on Great People and Systems

There is no easy way to accomplish all you want in life completely on your own.

You must attract, development, and retain great people around you if you are in leadership. And if you are simply battling to accomplish your own cause, it helps to have a great community and support system around you.

There is always power in numbers. Never try and go it alone.

12. “Done” is Better than “Perfect”

Finally, simply remembering that it’s better to get to the finish line without achieving your perfect record setting pace versus never crossing it at all.

Too many people in this world are “afraid to finish.” We consume ourselves with new projects and always looking for excuses to procrastinate or find reasons to not begin that new project.

Put it out into the world and just start. Then get it to completion. In most cases, whatever it is you are working on you can always make it better later. But you won’t have that finished project to edit or improve if you don’t start or finish it.

Commit to the process and see it through to fruition and completion and remember there are many reasons done is better than perfect.

Live Now – Become Your Best Self

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I hope this post helped jog some points of discovery and epiphanies for anyone that comes across it.

We are always a work in progress. The key is realizing that and putting in the effort for constant improvement.

What is it that you are working on in terms of becoming your best self? What lessons for life and leadership have you discovered that have been the best teachers for you? I’d love to hear from you and what it is that you are working on so we can continue to grow into the best human beings possible.

Keep working to Find your Way through your Why!

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Living as your Authentic Self

I’ve always liked to believe I’m living life as my authentic self. However, for most of my life I have often thought about how others view me. It used to be something that I put a great deal of precedence behind. Having lived in the corporate eye for the majority of my adult life, I’ve always been wary of what others think of me. I’ve had to ensure that the corporate view aligns with the “real me” as much as possible. We often reserve our views from the public eye and hold back the “real self” in order to please others. However, living life as our authentic selves first, helps us align to our life purpose.

What do You Stand for?

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Deciding what you stand for should align with your purpose and mission. Have you thought about your personal mission in life? Many of us have passions, and these ultimately can align with our mission in life.

One of my methods for deciding one’s purpose in life is to use the following formula:

  • What the world needs
  • Heed your talents
  • Your passions in life

I call this the WHY model. Beginning with WHY is vital over the HOW or the WHAT. The “why” is what defines us. To start to think about your purpose or mission, begin with what you think others in this world need help with. This is “what the world needs.”

Next, we call into play what your talents are. “Heeding your talents” brings to the forefront where your strengths are. What do other people come to you for? What support do you find yourself giving in everyday life? These are likely your natural talents.

Lastly we look at your passions. While our passions don’t always lead us to our purpose, it is a good indicator of where to begin our “search for meaning.” This is how we begin to ensure we are living as our authentic self.

Living with Purpose

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I have defined my purpose statement as:

“Empower and inspire others to find their purpose in life through helping them deprogram their outdated education and indoctrinations, so they can achieve greater levels of meaning, happiness, and overall success.”

This purpose statement is in my phone, printed in my home office, and put in the forefront of my mind to remind me of WHY I do what I do. It helps me make decisions, prioritize my work, and even align goals in my personal life.

Once we have efficiently aligned on our purpose, our daily mission becomes more clear. Thus, it helps more align how you can begin living as your authentic self.

Fulfilling your Mission Breeds Confidence

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Once we have affirmed our reason for being, we are more aptly able to live in truth and honesty. What does this mean? I’ll give just a few examples in my own life:

Despite how others may view me in the corporate space, I have grown more comfortable in my skin with my views. As I am working to generate a platform and community, many of the corporate people I am working with are hearing of my endeavors. It can be a little uncomfortable at first as my personal and life views gain recognition from my peers.

However living as your authentic self has ways to re-affirm if you are on the right path. Many of the corporate people that have discovered my work continuously reaffirm my goals and aspirations with continual accolades and affirmations.

This helps grow the confidence level and in my own belief, is the universe helping solidify in me that I am on the right path. There are some amazing benefits to living a purposeful life as well. All of this helps us live and fulfill our purpose with more confidence.

Looking Past Your Inner Critic

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The final part of living as your authentic self has to do with seeing past the inner-critic. This is the part of us that is always questioning how others view us through their own eyes.

Once we have affirmed that the universe is on our side, we need not worry about that inner critic in our heads. As long as we are living with authenticity and integrity, we can say our mind and live to our guidelines.

I’m not sure about you, but this has been one of my biggest hurdles as of late. I know that I’ll never compromise myself morally, legally, or within current social issues. However, the views I have in my life are largely not discussed in the corporate arena. I don’t make it a point to bring these views up in my corporate position, but if someone asks my opinion, I’m not very hesitant to give my view. I’m always cautious to mention my views are my opinions and also my truths through my life experiences.

I know that part of who I am as an individual and living through my purpose, means I have to authentically give my perspectives. How can we live our purpose and mission if we hold back on enlightening conversations with others?

In the end, this is how you can take steps that lead you closer to living as your authentic self.

If you’re at all in the same camp with me here, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment or engage in the conversation with any struggles or success stories you’ve had in your life.

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