Finding Your Way - Through Your Why

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Be with Peace

One of the best things about being human is our ability “to choose.” The power of choice really is an amazing thing when you think about it. Even when life deals us a bad hand or throws us many curveballs, it is how we respond that matters. We can either be with peace or suffer through continued heartache.

Today we look at the perspective of “being with peace” and how that mindset keeps us grounded and balanced; no matter what life throws at us.

Let the king’s peace be the deciding factor in your hearts; that’s what you were called to, within the one body. And be thankful.

Colossians 3:15

When we are able to stand outside of ourselves and observe our thoughts, we are able to then connect and more clearly understand that higher loving consciousness that is “Christ consciousness.” This helps us grow and become the best person possible and to have peace inside of us no matter what the world throws our way. In a sense, we get to make our own lane to drive through in life.

When life challenges at us, we can learn to respond without a quick knee-jerk reaction. We can slow down, allow ourselves to improve with our thoughts, and thus our intellect creates a healthier and peaceful mental state. This results in a still mind, with less anxiety, less cause for depression, despair, and other negative thoughts.

This leads to more what’s called soul harmony. We can then share that harmony with others from a point of perspective, so that as we live with peace, we live by example. Then our loved ones around us perhaps become better responding to the challenges that life puts in front of them as well. It’s one of the greatest things about being human. Whether we realize it or not, we always have the ability to choose our response to life.

Despite the 10%, be with peace

woman in blue tank top smiling and being with peace
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I often talk about the 80% rule. This pertains to the fact that in our lives we are in our control of most of what happens to us. Our present moment choices create our living realities. It’s what creates our futures. Then there is that 10% of chance, bad fortune, or even good luck that happens outside of our control or influence. We choose how we respond to the things that are out of our control. When it comes to the other 10%, it’s how we choose to respond that matters.

Begin to implant in your mind the feeling of deep peace. No matter what comes your way in life, by framing up your mindset properly, you’ll be better equipped for contentment and peace of mind.

This helps us to respond more positively to the opinions, choices of others, disagreements, and the things that trigger us in life. These differences of opinions that we have in life do not need to divide us. We can respect other people’s positions, whether we agree or not. Regardless of what other people believe do or say, we can always choose to respond with peace, understanding, and love. When we plant that perspective inside of our minds, we are going to be peaceful and content.

Reacting slowly and thinking first of the peace inside of your heart not only improves your own personal wellbeing, but also will improve the relationships with the people around you. Their health, mental wellness, and physical wellness improves along with your ability to be with peace.

Do not allow yourself to ride the pendulum of fluctuating change. Observe the pendulum. Step back. Watch your thoughts and learn to observe first, then stay with peace. You’ll be so better off today and every day with that mentality.

collage photo of woman

Thoughts Create Your Mood



Believe it or not we are wired to be optimists. Chances are, if you are a pessimist, something in your upbringing or life experiences influenced you to believe that way. Your thoughts create your mood. We are not our thoughts, but they do influence our worldview and emotions whether we realize it or not. Seeing the glass half full doesn’t just feel better, your body and mind will reap the benefits as well.

A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a downcast spirit dries up the bones

Proverbs 17:22

Today we discuss the importance and perspective around how our thoughts and mood affect our well-being.

This chapter and verse of the Bible is yet another telling message about the brain, body connection. What a powerful one too. It’s simply a stating that our brain and body respond to our mind.

Our body responds to our thoughts. Are our minds giving us a message of hope and happiness or fear and despair? Being more cheerful is good for us. Being downcast and sad can bring feelings of negativity and distress as well as disease.

Negative thoughts create disease in our bodies

person in blue scrub suit laying in hospital bed showing how negative thoughts create disease
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“Dis-ease.” When you read the word disease, the dis-ease we feel can create a lot of negative emotions in us. These negative emotions impact our cellular makeup, the tissue within our body, our organs, etc.

This verse from Proverbs 17:22 is literally telling us it’s important to remember that our thoughts create our mood. When we experience a fear based emotion, that feeling is going to negatively shape and impact us. Our thinking will become distorted and we will lose that sense of joy and the present moment. This causes our bodies to become vulnerable to disease and other illnesses.

Thinking in negative toxic manners involves stress. And that stress has been shown to reduce the size of certain structures in the brain. If however, your thinking is much more in a positive light, your mental and physical health will improve. A cheerful heart really is like good medicine allowing you to pursue your dreams because your brain and body respond to that feeling and emotion.

After all, we are created in the image of love, higher consciousness, and universal Christ consciousness. Remember this the next time you face some adversity. It’s very natural to want to get into a thought pattern of, my goodness – How am I going to handle this? As the anxiety increases, so do the stress hormones in our bodies.

Become the watcher of your thoughts

white thought bubble illustration on pink background displaying the need to understand thoughts create our mood
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Take it for what it’s worth. Observe your thoughts. Become the watcher of your thoughts. See each life situation you face as what it’s going to teach you think about life. This helps us to first observe, then respond, and finely to find the positivity in the life event. This is how we continue to rewire our perspectives for the better in our lives.

The Bible is trying to tell us our thoughts create our realities. This life lesson is in other teachings that we’re going to get into another time. But for today, and everyday, be aware that your thoughts create your mood. Be aware that your mood is what creates either positive life balance or negative life balance, for more health and vitality or more negativity and “dis-ease.”

Which side of the coin do you want to live on? Choose yourself more positive each day. You are at the helm. Consciously choose your thoughts and the ones you listen to each day wisely.

man running on black asphalt road

Believe in Victory

We like the thought of winning, but do we really believe that we will prevail over life’s challenges? How do we believe that we can make things change? It starts in our minds as well as in our belief systems and thought processes. It’s easy to think that thoughts are nothing more than just “things.” Many don’t understand that our thoughts impact our mental wellness, state of health, and the quality of our overall lives. It’s time to believe that while we are not our thoughts, our thoughts do define our lives.

We take every thought prisoner and make it obey the message.

Corinthians 10:5

What is a thought? It’s just a little bit of something, right? Where does it come from? Thoughts are actually energy. Science has proved this real. They come from our own minds, our own consciousness that then programs us through those thoughts. It is the universal principle of Mentalism. Thoughts are absolutely real things. When we think on something, dwell on it, ponder on it, we are helping mold the structure of futures.

Our thoughts then become physical, changing the environment of how we live and what decisions we make. Those thoughts turn into actions. When we choose to allow a thought to fester inside of our heads, feeding it with more and more attention over time, it will affect the cells and our brain and body. This impacts our overall future thoughts, actions, and decisions.

This is why it is super important that we monitor and become observant of the thoughts in our heads. Every thought that we make can either set us free into more victories or shackle us as a prisoner in more failures. This is what it takes to live a more wholesome, empowering life that is full of happiness, success, and a lot less fear.

person tossing globe

Our Belief Systems Shape our Worldview

Where our minds go, our brains follow. A different way of saying it is, “where our attention goes, energy flows.” Our belief systems shape our worldview. It comes down to understanding that perspective and deciding if we need to reframe our viewpoints in order to better ourselves and our mental health.

Of what’s more, don’t let yourself be squeezed into the shape dictated by the present age instead be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you can work out what God’s will is what is good, acceptable, and complete

Romans 12:2

This verse from the Bible is so powerful in the reframing of our minds as well as our own spiritual perspectives.

Many spiritual doctrines, such as the Buddhist teachings, the teachings of the Hindu faith, as well as many others have been trying to tell us for eons of time that we become what we think. While we are not our thoughts, our thoughts definitely do define our lives and our belief systems. Which then shapes every single day, very literally into our lives.

So what we have built into our minds through our own experiences and choices, shape the unique worldview. This in turn impacts our thoughts, words, and actions. It is through this filter that we analyze and dissect what life is throwing at us. We use our senses through our mental construct that to decide how we view life – for better or worse.

Once we choose to identify with our higher selves, that higher plane of consciousness, we are able to compare our world. Meaning that what we are experiencing here does not need to be how we define ourselves when we continue to elevate life consciously to higher perspectives up the human consciousness scale.

The Human Scale of Consciousness

our belief systems shape our worldview in consciousness
Dr. David Hawkins Human Scale of Consciousness

When we can get out of pride and move up into love self-love, we can then reach higher levels of enlightenment. This new, beautiful perspective on life not only adds to better experiences, but also will help you to see those experiences in a whole new light. That is what we want in terms of our response to view the world in a different way; in a truly humanistic way.

This process also aligns with higher levels of thought and consciousness so that we can act and become more like the loving Christ consciousness we are all apart of. It really is universal “love energy.” Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in doctrine or dogma. It is a pure loving consciousness. Whether we call it Jesus, God, Christ consciousness, the Divine, our Higher Selves Source, etc.

Our belief systems shape our worldview. Does your belief system need a closer look? It is negative or one of positivity? Do you believe in human kind or do you think we are all doomed?

Your thoughts and beliefs are completely yours…but please do take time to reflect on the views that are serving you and those that are not.

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Opening Communication to Spirit Guides

There can be a lot of mystery, confusion, and complexity surrounding the understanding of the Holy Spirit and spirit guides. Human kind has a tendency to complicate these types of spiritual understandings. Our ego can get involved around what we believe to right or true and then there is the religious dogma that often surrounds the topic. I am here to tell you that we need to stop complicating the process. Opening communication to the Holy Spirit or our spirit guides is not a complex process. However, it does involve doing some inner reflection and work around mindset to clear the mind and make space for the channels we need to “see” or “feel” our guidance. Here is how to go about that process:

Just breathe to begin opening the channels

man wearing black cap with eyes closed under cloudy sky taking pause and opening communication to spirt guides
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The first tactic is to pause through the day and bring awareness to your breath. That’s right — just breathe. Pause in your daily routine throughout the day and notice your breath. Many of us don’t breath properly.

Our autonomic nervous system, which controls automatic functions like heart rate and digestion, is split into two parts. The sympathetic nervous system, controls our fight-or-flight response. The other, the parasympathetic nervous system, controls our rest-and-relax response. 

While both parts of our nervous systems are always functioning, deep breathing can help quiet our sympathetic nervous system and therefore reduce feelings of stress or anxiety. This helps quiet the monkey mind.

Proper breathing involves deep breathing down into the belly. Many of us breathe shallowly only into our chests, only partially filling our lungs. Focusing on our breathing is the first way to begin opening communication to higher sources and channels.

Quiet the mind to begin opening communication

fit ethnic woman practicing meditation in park and opening communication to spirit guides
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Human kind has been programmed to get caught up in the rat race. We have our constant mind chatter or “monkey mind.” There are ways to calm and quiet this monkey mind. Here are some of the best practices that work for me:

  • Get outside and into nature no matter the season or time of year
  • Practice taking pause and reflection in your life
  • Meditate (can be walking meditations or other variations)
  • Give gratitude at the beginning and end of each day
  • Journaling throughout each day or week

Do not allow the many misconceptions around meditation to deter you. Simply becoming present is becoming mindfully aware. It is a form of meditation. So many people get caught up in the thinking that meditation and mindfulness must be conducted in certain ways. As a result, people get frustrated and give up far too soon on the mindset and practice.

There benefits abound when becoming aware of the present moment in your life. Quieting the mind is one of the most important aspects when it comes to opening communication to our spirit guides.

Opening communication – seeing is believing

blue eyed pupil wallpaper representing seeing truth in opening communication to spirit guides
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Once we have calmed the mind, the real fun of opening communication to our spirt guides can begin. In addition, life takes on new meaning. We begin to feel guided and can use our intuition.

Be it through daily intention, meditations, or prayer — we can ask for guidance and begin receiving it. Moreover, we can really begin to empower our life and purpose.

Communication from our guides comes in a variety of forms:

  • Signs (i.e. serendipitous moments brought before you
  • Repeating numbers
  • Songs
  • Electronics
  • Movies / Documentaries
  • Dreams

These are just a few of the many different ways that our higher selves communicate to us here in the physical realm. In other words, however we most typically prefer our communication, we begin to see it. In addition, the more we see this communication, the more our guides will give it to us.

The key here is to open yourself up to these possibilities. How many times have you seen coincidences occur in your life that you chalk up to dumb luck? Chances are this is the universe, our spirt guides, the Holy Spirit, or our Higher Selves at work communicating with us. There can only be so many coincidences in our lives until they become mathematically improbable.

Holy Spirt vs. Spirit Guides

flight pigeon twig depicting Holy Spirit and opening communication with spirit guides
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During my upbringing the Holy Spirit or Holy Ghost has been depicted as a white dove or bird in flight upwards toward heaven. This was the image I was given as a child. It never really quite resonated with me, and perhaps that was for good reason as it has forever made me seek more answers.

When I think of the term “Holy Spirit,” what comes to mind for me is an energetic connection to our Source, the Devine, God, or the Universe. It is the connection that is available for all of humankind if we apply ourselves towards it.

Some religious teachings tailor this meaning towards their own beliefs. Most often in the Christian teachings, it is used for connection through Christ and then God. In other words, it is opening up oneself to higher powers that exist beyond the physical realm of existence.

It is in my experience that I have come to the understanding that this connection is granted to us all if we simply open ourselves up to it. We all can connect to higher planes of existence or lower planes of existence. That is to say, “good” and “evil.”

Our spirit guides are simply other vessels that can attune us to these higher places of communication. In my study and through my own interpretation, spirit guides work alongside the Holy Spirit to connect us to our highest places of meaning and purpose. For instance, spirit guides may very well be our guardian angels and visa versa.

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Making your own Lane in Life

What is your purpose? Do you know what you are passionate about in life? Have you ever questioned what your reason for being in life is? Whose highways in life are you traveling on? Are they your roads that you are paving or the highways of others through which you aren’t even sure where they are taking you? Living life on your terms is about making your own lane in life. It’s about marching to your beat of your own drum. But how do you align the wheels of life to take you towards the proper destinations?

Recently, Ben Killoy, the founder of “Military Veteran Dad” and “The Business of Fatherhood,” had this very meaningful and purpose-filled conversation. What legacy will you leave in life? Whom will you have impacted? How will they describe the life you lived? These are important questions in life that are worth taking the time to frame up, so that we can live with more intent.

Being “seen” while making your own lane

wood typography with the words "life will not wait" in pertaining to making your own lane in life
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That voice inside your head – how often to you listen to it? It says things like:

  • Stay Safe
  • Don’t get outside your comfort zone
  • Remember what happened the last time you tried that?
  • You may get hurt

Our reptilian, base part of our brains contains our ego – the voice in our heads that is trying to keep us safe and inside our comfort zone. The problem with this voice – if you listen, making your own lane in life becomes quite difficult.

The ego isn’t only responsible for that pompous, loud, outspoken personality within us. It’s restricting us to keep us protected and safe, meaning it doesn’t want us getting out of our comfort zone.

It’s also that voice saying, hey, just stay safe. Stay in your lane. Don’t get too crazy out there in this thing we call life. If we always listen to that voice of caution inside our heads, then it wins and it doesn’t have to worry about change.

Become the watcher of your thoughts

person looking through binnocular becoming the watcher of their own life, making your own lane in life requires you to observe your thoughts.
Photo by Matt Hardy on

The first thing you have to acknowledge is that you have prescription beer goggles on, and that prescription is tied to how your life has happened. Every lens you look through is from your own perspective in life. It can be challenging to truly see how filtered your view is because you can’t take them off, but you can begin to become the watcher of your own thought.

This is where breakthroughs can occur. Think of a compass with two needles; one labeled fear, the other one labeled curiosity. When those two needles intersect in your life, lean in – run towards that direction. That is where you likely need to apply more attention, learning, and growth.

Fear as we know it in this modern day life isn’t like fear of the past – in most cases. More often than not, fear in our lives today is simply another way the ego keeps us held back, safe in our comfort zones. And curiosity is always a great place to pay attention to aspects within your life. Where do you have curiosity and some fear? Pay attention to those thoughts because chances are it’s a great compass for where you need to be making your own lanes in life and chasing your dreams. Your curiosity is the breadcrumb that will lead you to your purpose and passion.

Seeing your highway in life open up

diamonds on dark surface displaying how making your own lane in life is like applying pressure to coal to form diamonds
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The difference between carbon and diamonds is the pressure. The more pressure you apply, the more beauty that is created out of coal. Life is like this too. It is often said that God or the universe places opportunities on your heart or in front of your life. It’s simply up to you to recognize these signs take the first steps on those aspects of your life. Action is what tells the universe that you are serious about generating more meaning and purpose in life.

All of us are here in this physical playground we call life for a reason. When we show up and “do the work,” God or the universe rewards us for taking that action. More opportunities and a means to complete those opportunities shows up within our lives. Then we are left with more choices to take – more highways of chance and new opportunity open up for us.

How much pressure we apply to these challenges and purposeful opportunity will dictate how much success that comes from it. How beautiful will your “diamond of life” become? That depends on how much focus and pressure you’re willing to apply to it.

This is part of the “ungraduation process.” It is part of discovering our truest version of ourselves and living our lives through more rewarding meaning and purpose.

This is how your highways in life will open up for you. Soon you’ll find that you will be making your own lane in life and living more through your purpose over the aspects of what others deem important. And that is truly what life is about…

food restaurant man holiday

Giving Gratitude this Thanksgiving

As Ungraduated Living & Learning nears its one year launch anniversary, there are many items worth reflecting upon and giving gratitude for. For starters, let’s begin with the fact that less than 20% of podcasts that are launched make it into the following year of production. We’re coming up on our 1 year anniversary in just a few months and the listener base continues to grow.

The momentum won’t be slowing anytime soon. Actually, we’re planning quite a few changes that are aimed at making the community more engaging.

Launching our online community

faceless multiracial sport team stacking hands on court displaying community
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Coming by years end or early in 2022 will be an online community. This is where interested life-long learners can come together to share learnings, best practices, and ideas among each other.

Many people in today’s world crave companionship and in a community of learning and personal development, this is no different. As we all work to continue our ungraduation from societal programming towards our own empowerment; having a group of like-minded people alongside you can be beneficial.

Within our online community, the following can be expected:

  • daily motivational messages
  • sharing of individual wins and success stories
  • group accountability for anyone looking for help in their goals
  • resources for further learning (books / documentaries)
  • opportunities for networking and connection

Have your voice heard on Ungraduated Living & Learning

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A new feature that has been added to the website is a voicemail system. Go to and leave the show a question, suggestion, or other comment about what you are listening too.

As we move through time, we’ll be tossing out monthly questions for listeners to leave their thoughts on. These messages will be played on the show and commented on.

It’s a great way to have your voice heard and become an active member of the podcast. So, don’t be shy and head on over to and record your message right there from you phone or device. Let’s see who’s got some burning questions on their mind about their own self-development or the challenges they are working through in their own personal journeys.

This is your chance to take part in the show so let’s get interactive! I want to hear your voice!

Book Launch 2/22/22

assorted books in a storefront window
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My first book, “Ungraduated” – Finding your why through dropping out of outdated belief systems, is set to launch on February 22nd, 2022.

The book is meant to be a step by step learning guide that opens the readers eyes to the understandings of Universal Law and how to use those principles to better your life, health, happiness, purpose, and overall success.

After all – more and more people are realizing that life isn’t in their hands, it really truly is mostly in their heads. And framing up the right belief system and mindset is more than half the battle when it comes to winning at life.

The template is written within this book to open up the eyes of the reader to the infinite amount of possibilities at their disposal. Once the journey begins, the only mistake is not seeing it all the way through to the end.

With the launch of the book, I will personally be seeking the help and support of a book launch team. The goal of this special group will be to help generate awareness around the book upon its launch. Should you have any interest in helping support this cause, please feel free to reach out to me via my website, and leave a comment.

There will be some swag and free books for those that are interested and become active participants during the book launch.

Giving gratitude in my life

cardboard gift box with thank you note inside it displaying giving gratitude
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Outside of these ventures within the growing community platform that is Ungraduated Living & Learning, I have many other aspects of life to be grateful for. Giving thanks can actually make you happier in life. So why not take every opportunity for giving gratitude in our lives? Here are just a few more aspects of my life that I am fully grateful for:

  • A wonderful wife that supports me through all my endevors
  • Family that I never stop trying to help support, teach, and grow
  • My 3 fur babies that never cease to amaze me with their enduring love
  • Overall good health and vitality
  • The fact that we can engage in deep dialog and conversation
  • Abundance in life (never wanting / needing)
  • The life experiences that have crafted who I am…
  • My personal awakening that has me craving more learning and growth
  • A great career that has taught me more about life than I ever realized
  • Having a platform that enables me to share and spark thought

So what is it that you are most thankful in life? Undoubtably there are aspects of your life that you want to / need to give thanks for. I would love to hear from you!

Feel free to leave a comment here, or go over to and leave a message for me there. You just may even hear it played on the show! Certainly if you don’t want it aired, just let me know that too as I’ll always respect privacy.

Whatever you are thankful for this thanksgiving of 2021, I hope that you reflect upon it sincerely. For there is no greater way than to get more of what you want in life, through staying deeply connected to what you cherish most. Giving gratitude is a surefire way to continue getting more of what you hold most dear to your heart.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Discovering Happiness and Success in Life

Do you want to be happy, really happy? There are so many different tools and processes that can be taught. When we really open our eyes and hearts, we can truly begin to see some life transformation. This is where discovering happiness and success in life takes on new meaning.

We need to clarify what matters the most to you in your life, and then align with those things so that every single day is more joyful and fulfilling. Just figuring out what you want your life to look like and feel like isn’t quite enough to get you there.

We have to clean up relationships with ourselves. With all the programming and social indoctrination we face in life, there’s so much stuff that isn’t our weight to bare. We are weighed down by that excess baggage. What is necessary is to learn how to connect back into ourselves. Listen to what our voice is actually saying, instead of all the other voices.

Once we do that, then we can begin to see the science behind happiness. How our brains are wired and why have they sometimes sabotage us and what to look out for and what are the actual habits and actions of happiness? We can do self discovery work and turn inward all day long, but it won’t necessarily get us feeling good in life unless we take certain actions.

Taking action towards happiness

woman surrounded by sunflowers discovering happiness and success in life
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Our human playground isn’t always meant to be easy. But it’s rewarding for people who dive deep turn inward and try to look for the answers. That’s what I think we’re here to do on this planet, which is why we chose to come here. All our life experiences have helped shape what we are and have become to this point in life.

A lot of people are just very comfortable being told what to do and being told what to believe. It feels safe for them. And then there are people who desperately desire to figure it out for themselves.

So I say, just start right where you’re at. Start by asking yourself some questions and you begin paying attention to actually how you’re thinking to yourself. What story are you telling yourself? Have you been thinking kind thoughts about yourself and your life, or are you thinking hurtful thoughts?

Pausing to become the watcher of your thoughts, you will begin to be able to see if you are taking action towards happiness or towards more despair.

How are you showing up for the world?

positive senior man in eyeglasses showing thumbs up and looking at camera discovering happiness and success
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How do you show up in the world? Who do you want to show up as? As we continue to work on ourselves internally, we begin to rise in vibration. We will find ourselves discovering happiness and success as more of the things that drive our happiness and success begin to show up for us.

This works very much in the opposite as well. Happiness and success will evade us if we are not properly aligned with the appropriate frequencies.

How we show up for others around us begins to reciprocate itself through karmic balances. When we lead with love, care, and genuine gratitude; more of those aspects of life materialize in our lives. When we show up within jealousy, greed, and desire for materialistic gains; we will continue to receive more of the same reasons to keep ourselves in these lower level vibrational frequencies.

Happiness and success through relationships

signal tower
Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on

Each of us vibrate frequencies like little individual cell phone towers. What we put out, we get back. This is the energy of life.

As we work on ourselves and raise our vibrational frequencies, sometimes people in our lives fall off. This can often make us feel lonely. What we need to realize is that new higher level frequency individuals will make their way into our lives.

You can describe it as serendipity or synchronicity. However you describe it, this is the way of spiritual awakening and doing the internal work. As your consciousness rises, so will your opportunities and what the universe puts in front of you to act on.

Discovering happiness and success in life really does come down to rewiring your mental frequencies. Soon, with the proper re-coding, you find yourself having far less anxiety and stress in your life.

And this is the beginning towards discovering happiness and success in life.

photo of woman looking at the mirror

Defining Your Personal Brand

Many people in life claim to live as their authentic self, but what does that actually mean? Why does it matter? Should you even care how others view you? Absolutely YES! Don’t be the person that claims not to care how others view you. Defining your personal brand and living it authentically each day will bring more opportunities that you align with into your life. More opportunities leads to more purpose and fulfillment, which then brings more happiness into your life. Here is a step by step guide to help you build and set your normal operating standards of life.

What do you get Fired up for in Life?

flames in close up view helping in defining your personal brands and passions in life
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Chances are all of us have passions in life that drive us. Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper and write down all the different things in life that you love and care deeply for. On the other side of that paper, write all the things in the world that you’d like to see improved. When it comes to defining your personal brand, this first step is important.

You need to get very specific about what it is in life you want to stand for. For example, as I was defining my purpose, I knew very quickly that I wanted to make a difference for others. What I didn’t exactly always know was the how. It’s one thing to always be kind, generous, and overall a good human being – but how do you actually make a difference in the lives of others?

Look at the two columns and begin to circle the aspects you care mostly about and what to see the biggest areas of improvement in. These will become your “North Stars.” This will become your first step in defining your personal brand.

Embody all of your Passions Daily

crop person pouring water into lemon drink
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Like filling a glass completely full, you need to become these passions. How much will you fill your cup? The simple answer – until it is overflowing so that you are impacting others around you.

I’ll give you an example; I am deeply passionate about getting people to think bigger, reflect, pause, and seek answers to some of life’s greatest questions. So – I embody this daily. At every opportunity, I ask people about their lives. What fascinates them? Are there avenues of life that they desire more answers in? If they could find solutions to life problems, what answers would they need?

Simply getting into that modality everyday helps me embody these “higher-seeking” aspects into my daily life. I have become “these things.” This will be what I am forever. Not a day goes by that I don’t think these perspectives and try to get others to tag along for the ride.

So – become your passions. Allow them to overflow into others. Don’t be pushy about it, just “authentically you.” Meaning, at appropriate times, give people your best around what it is that you are passionate about in life.

Defining the Values for your Personal Brand

yellow and brown textile with words "you do you" while defining your personal brand
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While there are many different tools available to take you step by step through defining your personal brand, I feel there are none more important than developing your values system.

These values will decide what you say “yes” to in life, and when you say “no.” They will become your “personal set of operating system values.” They will help guide you, mold you, and transform you more into defining your personal brand.

Here are a few of mine:

  • Live with humility
  • Always seek to be curious first, and critical second
  • Live with gratitude daily
  • Be a net-giver over a net-taker
  • Live with Abundance in mind

You get to have fun with this process. As you work through the list, keep the following in mind:Consider the people you most admire.

  • Consider the people you value and admire most
  • Think of your personal life experiences
  • Take note of any reassuring themes
  • Capture your top core values

You can have a list anywhere from three to ten or more if you desire. As you discover and choose your core values, you are taking steps towards living and defining your personal brand.

Print and post the list! Laminate it or shrink it down to a pocket sized pamphlet that you can carry with you each day in your pocket. Refer to them as often as necessary.

Like will Attract Like in your Personal Brand

persons hand doing thumbs up to defining their personal brand
Photo by cottonbro on

Soon you will begin to take notice that the people in your life that don’t serve you fall out. Then more of the right people you need in your life come into it.

That is the beauty of framing up and defining your personal brand. Putting some time, energy, and thought into this sets up your mainframe and helps guide you into life’s greater purposes for you. You become more aligned and can live more authentically as yourself.

Confidence grows as more and more opportunities come your way. Your life begins to take on new meaning. Suddenly, this new found zest for life leads you to more and more abundance.

This is just once example of “doing the work.” Take the time to set up this “operating system” of a personal brand that defines you.

It will keep you guided along the way as you march ever more fervently towards your North Star.

happy woman with arms up in snowy mountains

Living an Independent Life and Thriving

Most unhappiness and despair in our lives comes from dependency. Dependency upon society, money, technology, the system, religion, etc. Think about how it would feel in life to truly be living an independent life free of these things? How empowering and enlightening it would be! The truest way to live this life is to release ourselves of the many dependencies that we believe we have to have in life. There are ways out of the rat race…and into real independency! Here is a template, courtesy of a recent excellent book I’ve read titled – “How to Live,” by Derek Sivers.

Be “of society” but not “in society”

crowd of people living an independent life black and white photo
Photo by Amine M’Siouri on

All too often we feel the need to jump into the latest trends, arguments, and other aspects that society loves to throw in our face. We even think that all these events, trends, and personalities are real. However, the fact is – these are all false realities. They are “perceived importances” from the controllers and influencers of life.

Much of the drama in our lives are self-perpetuated. In the book, Derek Sivers states that “most problems are interpersonal.” Meaning that much of what we see placed before I eyes and ears is “interpersonal drama.”

News, politics, celebrity gossip, social trends, etc – it’s all interpersonal drama. When you really step back and look, you can see this for what it is. None of these things are “real.” They are fabrications of life and what others want us to react too.

I think of one of Morpheus’s great lines in the blockbuster movie “The Matrix.” There is scene in which Neo has unplugged from the matrix and is grappling with the lies he believed were real. He tells Morpheus that “it felt so real.” Morpheus responds with:

“What is real? How do you define real? If you’re talking about what you can hear, what you can smell, taste and feel then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”

Let’s dive deeper…

Living an independent life without labels

sticky notes on board displaying many different labels we give ourselves in life
Photo by Polina Zimmerman on

We are so accustomed to receiving and giving labels to many aspects of our lives:

  • political labels
  • career positions & titles
  • rich vs poor
  • religious titles & affiliations

The list goes on and on. The truth when you really peel back the layers is that none of these things are “real.” Yes, we operate and function within “labels.” It isn’t easy to function without classifying certain aspects of our lives. However, living an independent life and thriving is about shifting our mindsets in order to generate this “independence.”

Staying out of opinions, political stances, and other hysteria on social media can truly foster healthier minds. This isn’t to say that we can’t or shouldn’t have opinions, but rather avoid the pull of the ego to defend our stances.

Learn to become as self-reliant as possible

a couple walking on a dirt path while holding hands and living and independent life
Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on

The main point of living an independent life is to develop sustainability on your own. This might very well be the hardest part for most people.

Becoming independent must entail realizing 100% accountability for y0u. This means that there is no one person responsible for you, outside of you. No one owes you anything and you don’t owe others.

Becoming truly free requires self-mastery. Rid yourself of habits and dependencies. Realizing that nothing has control over you is a powerful epiphany. Learn to try new things and quit routines. Keep your life as fresh and full of new experiences as possible. If you change how you live, you change your entire universe of experiences and outcomes.

As much as possible in your business life, own your own rights and materials. Buy domain names and try and run your websites on your own servers. Never rely too heavily on complete 3rd party social media. You just never know when these things may not be around one day.

The unexamined life isn’t worth living


So step back, reflect, and examine your life. How “FREE” are you truly? Living an independent life in this complex world is achievable. You just have to reframe your perspective.

Happiness, success, and true meaning will follow…

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