Making your own Lane in Life

What is your purpose? Do you know what you are passionate about in life? Have you ever questioned what your reason for being in life is? Whose highways in life are you traveling on? Are they your roads that you are paving or the highways of others through which you aren’t even sure where they are taking you? Living life on your terms is about making your own lane in life. It’s about marching to your beat of your own drum. But how do you align the wheels of life to take you towards the proper destinations?

Recently, Ben Killoy, the founder of “Military Veteran Dad” and “The Business of Fatherhood,” had this very meaningful and purpose-filled conversation. What legacy will you leave in life? Whom will you have impacted? How will they describe the life you lived? These are important questions in life that are worth taking the time to frame up, so that we can live with more intent.

Being “seen” while making your own lane

wood typography with the words "life will not wait" in pertaining to making your own lane in life
Photo by Brett Jordan on

That voice inside your head – how often to you listen to it? It says things like:

  • Stay Safe
  • Don’t get outside your comfort zone
  • Remember what happened the last time you tried that?
  • You may get hurt

Our reptilian, base part of our brains contains our ego – the voice in our heads that is trying to keep us safe and inside our comfort zone. The problem with this voice – if you listen, making your own lane in life becomes quite difficult.

The ego isn’t only responsible for that pompous, loud, outspoken personality within us. It’s restricting us to keep us protected and safe, meaning it doesn’t want us getting out of our comfort zone.

It’s also that voice saying, hey, just stay safe. Stay in your lane. Don’t get too crazy out there in this thing we call life. If we always listen to that voice of caution inside our heads, then it wins and it doesn’t have to worry about change.

Become the watcher of your thoughts

person looking through binnocular becoming the watcher of their own life, making your own lane in life requires you to observe your thoughts.
Photo by Matt Hardy on

The first thing you have to acknowledge is that you have prescription beer goggles on, and that prescription is tied to how your life has happened. Every lens you look through is from your own perspective in life. It can be challenging to truly see how filtered your view is because you can’t take them off, but you can begin to become the watcher of your own thought.

This is where breakthroughs can occur. Think of a compass with two needles; one labeled fear, the other one labeled curiosity. When those two needles intersect in your life, lean in – run towards that direction. That is where you likely need to apply more attention, learning, and growth.

Fear as we know it in this modern day life isn’t like fear of the past – in most cases. More often than not, fear in our lives today is simply another way the ego keeps us held back, safe in our comfort zones. And curiosity is always a great place to pay attention to aspects within your life. Where do you have curiosity and some fear? Pay attention to those thoughts because chances are it’s a great compass for where you need to be making your own lanes in life and chasing your dreams. Your curiosity is the breadcrumb that will lead you to your purpose and passion.

Seeing your highway in life open up

diamonds on dark surface displaying how making your own lane in life is like applying pressure to coal to form diamonds
Photo by The glorious studio on

The difference between carbon and diamonds is the pressure. The more pressure you apply, the more beauty that is created out of coal. Life is like this too. It is often said that God or the universe places opportunities on your heart or in front of your life. It’s simply up to you to recognize these signs take the first steps on those aspects of your life. Action is what tells the universe that you are serious about generating more meaning and purpose in life.

All of us are here in this physical playground we call life for a reason. When we show up and “do the work,” God or the universe rewards us for taking that action. More opportunities and a means to complete those opportunities shows up within our lives. Then we are left with more choices to take – more highways of chance and new opportunity open up for us.

How much pressure we apply to these challenges and purposeful opportunity will dictate how much success that comes from it. How beautiful will your “diamond of life” become? That depends on how much focus and pressure you’re willing to apply to it.

This is part of the “ungraduation process.” It is part of discovering our truest version of ourselves and living our lives through more rewarding meaning and purpose.

This is how your highways in life will open up for you. Soon you’ll find that you will be making your own lane in life and living more through your purpose over the aspects of what others deem important. And that is truly what life is about…

Making your own Lane in Life

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