Most unhappiness and despair in our lives comes from dependency. Dependency upon society, money, technology, the system, religion, etc. Think about how it would feel in life to truly be living an independent life free of these things? How empowering and enlightening it would be! The truest way to live this life is to release ourselves of the many dependencies that we believe we have to have in life. There are ways out of the rat race…and into real independency! Here is a template, courtesy of a recent excellent book I’ve read titled – “How to Live,” by Derek Sivers.

Be “of society” but not “in society”

crowd of people living an independent life black and white photo
Photo by Amine M’Siouri on Pexels.com

All too often we feel the need to jump into the latest trends, arguments, and other aspects that society loves to throw in our face. We even think that all these events, trends, and personalities are real. However, the fact is – these are all false realities. They are “perceived importances” from the controllers and influencers of life.

Much of the drama in our lives are self-perpetuated. In the book, Derek Sivers states that “most problems are interpersonal.” Meaning that much of what we see placed before I eyes and ears is “interpersonal drama.”

News, politics, celebrity gossip, social trends, etc – it’s all interpersonal drama. When you really step back and look, you can see this for what it is. None of these things are “real.” They are fabrications of life and what others want us to react too.

I think of one of Morpheus’s great lines in the blockbuster movie “The Matrix.” There is scene in which Neo has unplugged from the matrix and is grappling with the lies he believed were real. He tells Morpheus that “it felt so real.” Morpheus responds with:

“What is real? How do you define real? If you’re talking about what you can hear, what you can smell, taste and feel then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”

Let’s dive deeper…

Living an independent life without labels

sticky notes on board displaying many different labels we give ourselves in life
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We are so accustomed to receiving and giving labels to many aspects of our lives:

  • political labels
  • career positions & titles
  • rich vs poor
  • religious titles & affiliations

The list goes on and on. The truth when you really peel back the layers is that none of these things are “real.” Yes, we operate and function within “labels.” It isn’t easy to function without classifying certain aspects of our lives. However, living an independent life and thriving is about shifting our mindsets in order to generate this “independence.”

Staying out of opinions, political stances, and other hysteria on social media can truly foster healthier minds. This isn’t to say that we can’t or shouldn’t have opinions, but rather avoid the pull of the ego to defend our stances.

Learn to become as self-reliant as possible

a couple walking on a dirt path while holding hands and living and independent life
Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

The main point of living an independent life is to develop sustainability on your own. This might very well be the hardest part for most people.

Becoming independent must entail realizing 100% accountability for y0u. This means that there is no one person responsible for you, outside of you. No one owes you anything and you don’t owe others.

Becoming truly free requires self-mastery. Rid yourself of habits and dependencies. Realizing that nothing has control over you is a powerful epiphany. Learn to try new things and quit routines. Keep your life as fresh and full of new experiences as possible. If you change how you live, you change your entire universe of experiences and outcomes.

As much as possible in your business life, own your own rights and materials. Buy domain names and try and run your websites on your own servers. Never rely too heavily on complete 3rd party social media. You just never know when these things may not be around one day.

The unexamined life isn’t worth living

Sacrates

So step back, reflect, and examine your life. How “FREE” are you truly? Living an independent life in this complex world is achievable. You just have to reframe your perspective.

Happiness, success, and true meaning will follow…