Finding Your Way - Through Your Why

Month: November 2021

aerial photography of cars on road intersection

Making your own Lane in Life

What is your purpose? Do you know what you are passionate about in life? Have you ever questioned what your reason for being in life is? Whose highways in life are you traveling on? Are they your roads that you are paving or the highways of others through which you aren’t even sure where they are taking you? Living life on your terms is about making your own lane in life. It’s about marching to your beat of your own drum. But how do you align the wheels of life to take you towards the proper destinations?

Recently, Ben Killoy, the founder of “Military Veteran Dad” and “The Business of Fatherhood,” had this very meaningful and purpose-filled conversation. What legacy will you leave in life? Whom will you have impacted? How will they describe the life you lived? These are important questions in life that are worth taking the time to frame up, so that we can live with more intent.

Being “seen” while making your own lane

wood typography with the words "life will not wait" in pertaining to making your own lane in life
Photo by Brett Jordan on

That voice inside your head – how often to you listen to it? It says things like:

  • Stay Safe
  • Don’t get outside your comfort zone
  • Remember what happened the last time you tried that?
  • You may get hurt

Our reptilian, base part of our brains contains our ego – the voice in our heads that is trying to keep us safe and inside our comfort zone. The problem with this voice – if you listen, making your own lane in life becomes quite difficult.

The ego isn’t only responsible for that pompous, loud, outspoken personality within us. It’s restricting us to keep us protected and safe, meaning it doesn’t want us getting out of our comfort zone.

It’s also that voice saying, hey, just stay safe. Stay in your lane. Don’t get too crazy out there in this thing we call life. If we always listen to that voice of caution inside our heads, then it wins and it doesn’t have to worry about change.

Become the watcher of your thoughts

person looking through binnocular becoming the watcher of their own life, making your own lane in life requires you to observe your thoughts.
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The first thing you have to acknowledge is that you have prescription beer goggles on, and that prescription is tied to how your life has happened. Every lens you look through is from your own perspective in life. It can be challenging to truly see how filtered your view is because you can’t take them off, but you can begin to become the watcher of your own thought.

This is where breakthroughs can occur. Think of a compass with two needles; one labeled fear, the other one labeled curiosity. When those two needles intersect in your life, lean in – run towards that direction. That is where you likely need to apply more attention, learning, and growth.

Fear as we know it in this modern day life isn’t like fear of the past – in most cases. More often than not, fear in our lives today is simply another way the ego keeps us held back, safe in our comfort zones. And curiosity is always a great place to pay attention to aspects within your life. Where do you have curiosity and some fear? Pay attention to those thoughts because chances are it’s a great compass for where you need to be making your own lanes in life and chasing your dreams. Your curiosity is the breadcrumb that will lead you to your purpose and passion.

Seeing your highway in life open up

diamonds on dark surface displaying how making your own lane in life is like applying pressure to coal to form diamonds
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The difference between carbon and diamonds is the pressure. The more pressure you apply, the more beauty that is created out of coal. Life is like this too. It is often said that God or the universe places opportunities on your heart or in front of your life. It’s simply up to you to recognize these signs take the first steps on those aspects of your life. Action is what tells the universe that you are serious about generating more meaning and purpose in life.

All of us are here in this physical playground we call life for a reason. When we show up and “do the work,” God or the universe rewards us for taking that action. More opportunities and a means to complete those opportunities shows up within our lives. Then we are left with more choices to take – more highways of chance and new opportunity open up for us.

How much pressure we apply to these challenges and purposeful opportunity will dictate how much success that comes from it. How beautiful will your “diamond of life” become? That depends on how much focus and pressure you’re willing to apply to it.

This is part of the “ungraduation process.” It is part of discovering our truest version of ourselves and living our lives through more rewarding meaning and purpose.

This is how your highways in life will open up for you. Soon you’ll find that you will be making your own lane in life and living more through your purpose over the aspects of what others deem important. And that is truly what life is about…

food restaurant man holiday

Giving Gratitude this Thanksgiving

As Ungraduated Living & Learning nears its one year launch anniversary, there are many items worth reflecting upon and giving gratitude for. For starters, let’s begin with the fact that less than 20% of podcasts that are launched make it into the following year of production. We’re coming up on our 1 year anniversary in just a few months and the listener base continues to grow.

The momentum won’t be slowing anytime soon. Actually, we’re planning quite a few changes that are aimed at making the community more engaging.

Launching our online community

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Coming by years end or early in 2022 will be an online community. This is where interested life-long learners can come together to share learnings, best practices, and ideas among each other.

Many people in today’s world crave companionship and in a community of learning and personal development, this is no different. As we all work to continue our ungraduation from societal programming towards our own empowerment; having a group of like-minded people alongside you can be beneficial.

Within our online community, the following can be expected:

  • daily motivational messages
  • sharing of individual wins and success stories
  • group accountability for anyone looking for help in their goals
  • resources for further learning (books / documentaries)
  • opportunities for networking and connection

Have your voice heard on Ungraduated Living & Learning

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A new feature that has been added to the website is a voicemail system. Go to and leave the show a question, suggestion, or other comment about what you are listening too.

As we move through time, we’ll be tossing out monthly questions for listeners to leave their thoughts on. These messages will be played on the show and commented on.

It’s a great way to have your voice heard and become an active member of the podcast. So, don’t be shy and head on over to and record your message right there from you phone or device. Let’s see who’s got some burning questions on their mind about their own self-development or the challenges they are working through in their own personal journeys.

This is your chance to take part in the show so let’s get interactive! I want to hear your voice!

Book Launch 2/22/22

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My first book, “Ungraduated” – Finding your why through dropping out of outdated belief systems, is set to launch on February 22nd, 2022.

The book is meant to be a step by step learning guide that opens the readers eyes to the understandings of Universal Law and how to use those principles to better your life, health, happiness, purpose, and overall success.

After all – more and more people are realizing that life isn’t in their hands, it really truly is mostly in their heads. And framing up the right belief system and mindset is more than half the battle when it comes to winning at life.

The template is written within this book to open up the eyes of the reader to the infinite amount of possibilities at their disposal. Once the journey begins, the only mistake is not seeing it all the way through to the end.

With the launch of the book, I will personally be seeking the help and support of a book launch team. The goal of this special group will be to help generate awareness around the book upon its launch. Should you have any interest in helping support this cause, please feel free to reach out to me via my website, and leave a comment.

There will be some swag and free books for those that are interested and become active participants during the book launch.

Giving gratitude in my life

cardboard gift box with thank you note inside it displaying giving gratitude
Photo by Monstera on

Outside of these ventures within the growing community platform that is Ungraduated Living & Learning, I have many other aspects of life to be grateful for. Giving thanks can actually make you happier in life. So why not take every opportunity for giving gratitude in our lives? Here are just a few more aspects of my life that I am fully grateful for:

  • A wonderful wife that supports me through all my endevors
  • Family that I never stop trying to help support, teach, and grow
  • My 3 fur babies that never cease to amaze me with their enduring love
  • Overall good health and vitality
  • The fact that we can engage in deep dialog and conversation
  • Abundance in life (never wanting / needing)
  • The life experiences that have crafted who I am…
  • My personal awakening that has me craving more learning and growth
  • A great career that has taught me more about life than I ever realized
  • Having a platform that enables me to share and spark thought

So what is it that you are most thankful in life? Undoubtably there are aspects of your life that you want to / need to give thanks for. I would love to hear from you!

Feel free to leave a comment here, or go over to and leave a message for me there. You just may even hear it played on the show! Certainly if you don’t want it aired, just let me know that too as I’ll always respect privacy.

Whatever you are thankful for this thanksgiving of 2021, I hope that you reflect upon it sincerely. For there is no greater way than to get more of what you want in life, through staying deeply connected to what you cherish most. Giving gratitude is a surefire way to continue getting more of what you hold most dear to your heart.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Discovering Happiness and Success in Life

Do you want to be happy, really happy? There are so many different tools and processes that can be taught. When we really open our eyes and hearts, we can truly begin to see some life transformation. This is where discovering happiness and success in life takes on new meaning.

We need to clarify what matters the most to you in your life, and then align with those things so that every single day is more joyful and fulfilling. Just figuring out what you want your life to look like and feel like isn’t quite enough to get you there.

We have to clean up relationships with ourselves. With all the programming and social indoctrination we face in life, there’s so much stuff that isn’t our weight to bare. We are weighed down by that excess baggage. What is necessary is to learn how to connect back into ourselves. Listen to what our voice is actually saying, instead of all the other voices.

Once we do that, then we can begin to see the science behind happiness. How our brains are wired and why have they sometimes sabotage us and what to look out for and what are the actual habits and actions of happiness? We can do self discovery work and turn inward all day long, but it won’t necessarily get us feeling good in life unless we take certain actions.

Taking action towards happiness

woman surrounded by sunflowers discovering happiness and success in life
Photo by Andre Furtado on

Our human playground isn’t always meant to be easy. But it’s rewarding for people who dive deep turn inward and try to look for the answers. That’s what I think we’re here to do on this planet, which is why we chose to come here. All our life experiences have helped shape what we are and have become to this point in life.

A lot of people are just very comfortable being told what to do and being told what to believe. It feels safe for them. And then there are people who desperately desire to figure it out for themselves.

So I say, just start right where you’re at. Start by asking yourself some questions and you begin paying attention to actually how you’re thinking to yourself. What story are you telling yourself? Have you been thinking kind thoughts about yourself and your life, or are you thinking hurtful thoughts?

Pausing to become the watcher of your thoughts, you will begin to be able to see if you are taking action towards happiness or towards more despair.

How are you showing up for the world?

positive senior man in eyeglasses showing thumbs up and looking at camera discovering happiness and success
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on

How do you show up in the world? Who do you want to show up as? As we continue to work on ourselves internally, we begin to rise in vibration. We will find ourselves discovering happiness and success as more of the things that drive our happiness and success begin to show up for us.

This works very much in the opposite as well. Happiness and success will evade us if we are not properly aligned with the appropriate frequencies.

How we show up for others around us begins to reciprocate itself through karmic balances. When we lead with love, care, and genuine gratitude; more of those aspects of life materialize in our lives. When we show up within jealousy, greed, and desire for materialistic gains; we will continue to receive more of the same reasons to keep ourselves in these lower level vibrational frequencies.

Happiness and success through relationships

signal tower
Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on

Each of us vibrate frequencies like little individual cell phone towers. What we put out, we get back. This is the energy of life.

As we work on ourselves and raise our vibrational frequencies, sometimes people in our lives fall off. This can often make us feel lonely. What we need to realize is that new higher level frequency individuals will make their way into our lives.

You can describe it as serendipity or synchronicity. However you describe it, this is the way of spiritual awakening and doing the internal work. As your consciousness rises, so will your opportunities and what the universe puts in front of you to act on.

Discovering happiness and success in life really does come down to rewiring your mental frequencies. Soon, with the proper re-coding, you find yourself having far less anxiety and stress in your life.

And this is the beginning towards discovering happiness and success in life.

photo of woman looking at the mirror

Defining Your Personal Brand

Many people in life claim to live as their authentic self, but what does that actually mean? Why does it matter? Should you even care how others view you? Absolutely YES! Don’t be the person that claims not to care how others view you. Defining your personal brand and living it authentically each day will bring more opportunities that you align with into your life. More opportunities leads to more purpose and fulfillment, which then brings more happiness into your life. Here is a step by step guide to help you build and set your normal operating standards of life.

What do you get Fired up for in Life?

flames in close up view helping in defining your personal brands and passions in life
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Chances are all of us have passions in life that drive us. Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper and write down all the different things in life that you love and care deeply for. On the other side of that paper, write all the things in the world that you’d like to see improved. When it comes to defining your personal brand, this first step is important.

You need to get very specific about what it is in life you want to stand for. For example, as I was defining my purpose, I knew very quickly that I wanted to make a difference for others. What I didn’t exactly always know was the how. It’s one thing to always be kind, generous, and overall a good human being – but how do you actually make a difference in the lives of others?

Look at the two columns and begin to circle the aspects you care mostly about and what to see the biggest areas of improvement in. These will become your “North Stars.” This will become your first step in defining your personal brand.

Embody all of your Passions Daily

crop person pouring water into lemon drink
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Like filling a glass completely full, you need to become these passions. How much will you fill your cup? The simple answer – until it is overflowing so that you are impacting others around you.

I’ll give you an example; I am deeply passionate about getting people to think bigger, reflect, pause, and seek answers to some of life’s greatest questions. So – I embody this daily. At every opportunity, I ask people about their lives. What fascinates them? Are there avenues of life that they desire more answers in? If they could find solutions to life problems, what answers would they need?

Simply getting into that modality everyday helps me embody these “higher-seeking” aspects into my daily life. I have become “these things.” This will be what I am forever. Not a day goes by that I don’t think these perspectives and try to get others to tag along for the ride.

So – become your passions. Allow them to overflow into others. Don’t be pushy about it, just “authentically you.” Meaning, at appropriate times, give people your best around what it is that you are passionate about in life.

Defining the Values for your Personal Brand

yellow and brown textile with words "you do you" while defining your personal brand
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While there are many different tools available to take you step by step through defining your personal brand, I feel there are none more important than developing your values system.

These values will decide what you say “yes” to in life, and when you say “no.” They will become your “personal set of operating system values.” They will help guide you, mold you, and transform you more into defining your personal brand.

Here are a few of mine:

  • Live with humility
  • Always seek to be curious first, and critical second
  • Live with gratitude daily
  • Be a net-giver over a net-taker
  • Live with Abundance in mind

You get to have fun with this process. As you work through the list, keep the following in mind:Consider the people you most admire.

  • Consider the people you value and admire most
  • Think of your personal life experiences
  • Take note of any reassuring themes
  • Capture your top core values

You can have a list anywhere from three to ten or more if you desire. As you discover and choose your core values, you are taking steps towards living and defining your personal brand.

Print and post the list! Laminate it or shrink it down to a pocket sized pamphlet that you can carry with you each day in your pocket. Refer to them as often as necessary.

Like will Attract Like in your Personal Brand

persons hand doing thumbs up to defining their personal brand
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Soon you will begin to take notice that the people in your life that don’t serve you fall out. Then more of the right people you need in your life come into it.

That is the beauty of framing up and defining your personal brand. Putting some time, energy, and thought into this sets up your mainframe and helps guide you into life’s greater purposes for you. You become more aligned and can live more authentically as yourself.

Confidence grows as more and more opportunities come your way. Your life begins to take on new meaning. Suddenly, this new found zest for life leads you to more and more abundance.

This is just once example of “doing the work.” Take the time to set up this “operating system” of a personal brand that defines you.

It will keep you guided along the way as you march ever more fervently towards your North Star.

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