Finding Your Way - Through Your Why

Month: October 2021

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Living an Independent Life and Thriving

Most unhappiness and despair in our lives comes from dependency. Dependency upon society, money, technology, the system, religion, etc. Think about how it would feel in life to truly be living an independent life free of these things? How empowering and enlightening it would be! The truest way to live this life is to release ourselves of the many dependencies that we believe we have to have in life. There are ways out of the rat race…and into real independency! Here is a template, courtesy of a recent excellent book I’ve read titled – “How to Live,” by Derek Sivers.

Be “of society” but not “in society”

crowd of people living an independent life black and white photo
Photo by Amine M’Siouri on

All too often we feel the need to jump into the latest trends, arguments, and other aspects that society loves to throw in our face. We even think that all these events, trends, and personalities are real. However, the fact is – these are all false realities. They are “perceived importances” from the controllers and influencers of life.

Much of the drama in our lives are self-perpetuated. In the book, Derek Sivers states that “most problems are interpersonal.” Meaning that much of what we see placed before I eyes and ears is “interpersonal drama.”

News, politics, celebrity gossip, social trends, etc – it’s all interpersonal drama. When you really step back and look, you can see this for what it is. None of these things are “real.” They are fabrications of life and what others want us to react too.

I think of one of Morpheus’s great lines in the blockbuster movie “The Matrix.” There is scene in which Neo has unplugged from the matrix and is grappling with the lies he believed were real. He tells Morpheus that “it felt so real.” Morpheus responds with:

“What is real? How do you define real? If you’re talking about what you can hear, what you can smell, taste and feel then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”

Let’s dive deeper…

Living an independent life without labels

sticky notes on board displaying many different labels we give ourselves in life
Photo by Polina Zimmerman on

We are so accustomed to receiving and giving labels to many aspects of our lives:

  • political labels
  • career positions & titles
  • rich vs poor
  • religious titles & affiliations

The list goes on and on. The truth when you really peel back the layers is that none of these things are “real.” Yes, we operate and function within “labels.” It isn’t easy to function without classifying certain aspects of our lives. However, living an independent life and thriving is about shifting our mindsets in order to generate this “independence.”

Staying out of opinions, political stances, and other hysteria on social media can truly foster healthier minds. This isn’t to say that we can’t or shouldn’t have opinions, but rather avoid the pull of the ego to defend our stances.

Learn to become as self-reliant as possible

a couple walking on a dirt path while holding hands and living and independent life
Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on

The main point of living an independent life is to develop sustainability on your own. This might very well be the hardest part for most people.

Becoming independent must entail realizing 100% accountability for y0u. This means that there is no one person responsible for you, outside of you. No one owes you anything and you don’t owe others.

Becoming truly free requires self-mastery. Rid yourself of habits and dependencies. Realizing that nothing has control over you is a powerful epiphany. Learn to try new things and quit routines. Keep your life as fresh and full of new experiences as possible. If you change how you live, you change your entire universe of experiences and outcomes.

As much as possible in your business life, own your own rights and materials. Buy domain names and try and run your websites on your own servers. Never rely too heavily on complete 3rd party social media. You just never know when these things may not be around one day.

The unexamined life isn’t worth living


So step back, reflect, and examine your life. How “FREE” are you truly? Living an independent life in this complex world is achievable. You just have to reframe your perspective.

Happiness, success, and true meaning will follow…

clear hour glass on frame

Learn how to Transcend Time and Space

If you only had more time…This is a statement that many in the world utter day to day. But it is a myth! If I told you that all of us can learn how to transcend time and put ourselves in control of the ticking of the clock – would you believe me? The fact is we are the controllers of our own time. Many of us don’t see life this way and often use phrases such as:

  • I’m too busy
  • I wish I had more time in a day
  • Time is never on my side
  • This is going to take me forever
  • I’m always running late due to all I have to accomplish

I’m here to tell you that through some mindset shifts, you really can become your own arbiter over your day and put your life and time to work for you, rather than having it control you.

Stop Allowing Society to Dictate Your Time

group of people in white shirts staring at their phones in which they need to learn how to transcend time rather than being controlled by it
Photo by cottonbro on

In much of the world and society today, time rules us all.  We are bound by it at such an early age that it becomes a normal aspect of our lives as we reach grow through our adolescence and into adulthood.  We think about time in a way that is always fleeting and stealing our attention away from what we believe we value most.

In today’s Time Trap we believe we don’t have time to be creative, spend quality time with our loved ones, to be loved, as well as get all of the things we need to get complete, done. In essence, we feel we’ve been trapped by time.  Gay Hendricks, the author of “The Big Leap,” has a good way of putting it:

Time is the master, and I am the slave

Gay Hendricks

Once you see the ramifications of this and begin to really understand the implications of it your life, I’m sure you will want to implement change and learn how to transcend time and space to free yourself of this “time-bondage.”

The Newtonian Time Paradigm

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Photo by Giallo on

Newtonian time has taught us to assume we will always experience a limited amount of time in each day.  It teaches that humankind will always have a problem with time, due to the fact that it is a limited commodity in our lives.  

We can compare this paradigm to other aspects of life. If we assume that there will always be a limited amount of food or water in the world then we will always fear the inevitable outcome of running out of both commodities.  This aligns with the Newtonian time concept that time is finite, and because of that, we must always fear the possibility of running out of it. In this thought process, we will always be rushing to stay ahead and not fall behind.

This is an unhealthy and outdated social indoctrination that we’ve likely all been guilty of falling victim to. This causes us stress, anxiety, and other burdens and eventual illnesses due to the constant “man-made” struggle in our heads.

Learn how to transcend time with Einstein Time

person holding a chalk in front of the chalk board showing we can learn to transcend time with E=MC²
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Humankind “made up” the aspect of time as we know it, and have been using it to manage and live our lives.  Through this man-made creation, we have unconsciously allowed it to rule over us.

But we can begin to see a different way of viewing the concept of time. In order to do this, we must learn to see and understand that You are where time comes from. Its the single truth of what time is. We decide it. Let’s take this concept a step further and discover that You are time!  I know at first it may be a difficult concept to grasp, but seeing this truth will free everything up in your life to be so much more empowering.

Living your life with “Einstein time” means building a positive relationship with time.  You can begin to properly balance your priorities with time and not be ruled by it.  You begin to put in less amount of time and get twice the output from your efforts.

The benefits of Einstein Time:

  • Spend half the time you used to to achieve your agenda
  • You become the creator of your time, not those outside of you
  • Relieve the pressure and hustle in life
  • Lessen anxiety, stress, and improve health
  • Feel more at peace
  • Constant state of refreshing renewal
  • Get done what you need to and still have time for those you love
  • Because you are the source of time, you have as much of it as you need

Taking a Leap of Faith into the Time Tunnel

asphalt blur on road showing what looks like a time warp tunnel
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When you are doing something that you love, you enter what is sometimes referred to as “flow state.” Time seems to bend and you will enter sort of a Time Tunnel.  Time often doesn’t move as it appears to in normal everyday life. What often feels like 1 hour may feel like 1o minutes.  In direct opposition to this, if you are doing something you don’t want to be doing or something you totally distaste doing, 10 minutes of doing this task will feel like 1 hour. 

We need to learn to understand and see time as the exact moment you are in.  Understand that everywhere you are, through every point of you day, is right where you should be. Let time and space be a part of you. Don’t let the rushing thoughts of concern and worry enter your mind. Work to control any fear or doubt about your day. Properly allowing the space you occupy, to simply be, will melt away all concerns of man-made time.

Let’s take a look at an example:

Newtonian Time Thought Process: 

You constantly look at your watch or phone to keep checking on the time.  You become anxious and stressed as the begins to take a negative toll on you. The feeling of overwhelm and concern sets in. When you arrive to your destination, you complain about the traffic and likely continue to have aggravations throughout your day due to the negative beginning.

Einstein Time Thought Process:

Embrace the space you are in.  Understand that this traffic backup occurred and perhaps it did for a reason that is unbeknownst to you. There is no need to check your watch or phone for the time, as you will get to your destination when you are supposed too. You stay removed from stress and anxiety. When you do arrive to your designation you mention the fact of the crazy traffic and find out that many others were late due to the same reason.

Learn to transcend time & Embrace Einstein Time Everyday

elegant wristwatch with leather strap on table
Photo by валерия Гарбуз on

I highly anyone that hasn’t read Gay Hendrick’s “The Big Leap” to give it a read. There are vast other learnings in his book about life in general and breaking into your “zone of genius.” How we view time has a lot to do with this.

  • See yourself as your own arbiter of time
  • Believe and learn that YOU create your own time, not the world
  • Cease any negative talk about time
  • Ignore the urge when others complain about time, you’ll notice it more
  • Take notice of any feelings of anxiety or stress:
    • Discontentment or hurry – why? See these feelings for what they are. Recognize if you are creating these feelings yourself and if so, change your thought behaviors. If others are creating them, find a way to distance yourself from them if possible, or begin to ignore their impact in your life.
  • Embrace the space you are in! You are right where you are supposed to be at the exact time you’re supposed to be there.

I hope this gives you some perspective on how to learn how to transcend time and space. It will help you remove anxiety and stress from your life. We have this ability through our own mindset and just need to see it as such.

Have any other suggestions or best practices that work for you? Feel free to share your experiences and join in the conversation.

white and blue crew neck t shirt

Remove Anxiety from your Life through these 5 Steps

When most people are asked about their social pressures and how to remove anxiety from their lives, they’ll point to external factors they believe are out of their control. The fact is, the amount of anxiety we create or remove from our life is completely up to us. It comes down to mindset. We are either the creators of more anxiety or the buffers through which we weaken its grip.

Here are some basic and practical examples to remove anxiety from you life:

1. Bring yourself into Present Moment Awareness

brass pocket watches to represent the present moment
Photo by abdullah . on

The first step in removing anxiety in your life is the realization that life only ever occurs in the present moment. We are too often caught up with our monkey mind of thought that we forget what is happening now. What is happening now is all we ever have control over.

When we find ourselves stresses over a future event that hasn’t happened yet or dwelling on a fear from the past, we cripple ourselves in the present. This causes us anxiety.

The key through this very important first step is to catch yourself in all the moments where you are feeling anxious. How often in the present moment do you actually deserve to be anxious?

Our minds are wired for a bi-gone human era. We used to depend on fight or flight responses for survival. However, today the stress we generate comes from meetings, tests, speeches, etc. We generate our own fears and anxious moments.

To begin stepping out of this trap, we must see life for how it always is lived – ever presently.

2. Remove Anxiety through Learning how to Breathe

man wearing black cap with eyes closed under cloudy sky taking a deep breath
Photo by Kelvin Valerio on

You read that right. Learning how to actually breathe is a thing.

After we understand how the benefits of becoming present aid us in life, we can begin to work on enhancing that presence. We do this through breath work.

There are many great resources that teach breathing exercises to aid in the reduction of anxiety. Too many people fail to realize they breath wrong. Yes, breath work in meditation helps as well. Yet, there are so many people that don’t realize we should be breathing from our abdomens, not our chests.

Diaphragmatic breathing can lower your stress levels, reduce your blood pressure, and regulate other important bodily processes.

Here are the simple steps to bring “belly breathing” into your life:

Here’s the basic procedure for diaphragmatic breathing:

  • Sit in a comfortable position or lie flat in comfortable position.
  • Relax your shoulders.
  • Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
  • Inhale through your nostrils for about two seconds. You should experience the air moving through your nostrils into your abdomen, making your stomach expand. During this type of breathing, make sure your stomach is moving outward while your chest remains relatively still or as flat as possible.
  • Curl your lips (as if you’re about to drink through a straw), while pressing gently on your stomach, then exhale slowly for about two more seconds.
  • Repeat these steps several times for best results or until you get used to the feeling.

3. Identify “The Gap” between You and what You cannot Control

risky traveler sitting and dangling on stone above valley dwelling on removing anxiety from life
Photo by Yogendra Singh on

Reducing anxiety in your life becomes so much easier when you realize you only control you. This means your power of choice becomes your savior.

Even through most people will admit they have less control over their lives than they’d like to admit, they still try and control others as well as situations out of their control. We are relentlessly caught in our own rat race. Seeing the forest through the trees means seeing we only are playing the game of life against ourselves.

“The Gap” so to speak, is everything else. It’s other peoples choices, lives, careers, journeys, stresses, positives, negatives, and all else that comes along with life.

You have control over only one thing — YOU. When you can see this paradigm the world becomes less stressful. It isn’t about not caring or not trying anymore. Rather it is about only applying pressure to the situations that you directly impact.

This is one great epiphany that is worth the ticket of admission to reducing anxiety. Learn to let go of what you can’t control and only live through what you can.

4. Stop Playing the Comparison Game

black and white picture of men arm wrestling to remove anxiety
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Once we realize we only really have to worry about our choices in life, we can begin to look at others around us. Or better yet, stop looking at others around us.

Yes we are going to socialize and enjoy life in good company. But we do not have to get caught up in the game of comparisons. Keeping up the the Jone’s is a trap. It’s a trap that causes us more stress and anxiety than we need.

Society has programmed us to admire everyone other than ourselves. We compare ourselves incessantly to others. What type of car, house, education, careers, spouses, kids, etc. do they have? This isn’t healthy for us or our own life missions.

Everyone is working through their own journeys. Some are asleep at the wheel, and others are wide awake and aware. Find what makes you happy in life and bring more of that thing into your existence. Stop searching for all the things your friends or coworkers have.

We need some things for safety, health, and overall contentment, but most things we chase after only generate more anxiety. By reducing our demands for all the things our neighbors and friends have, we also remove anxiety from our lives.

5. To Remove Anxiety Become the Spectator

woman in blue denim jacket holding a gray steel tower viewer watching her thoughts to remove anxiety from her life
Photo by Pixabay on

The fifth and final key to removing anxiety in your life is to realize that in the purest form of reality – you are the watcher or spectator of your life.

Yes, I know it’s metaphysical sounding, but it is the truth in my humble opinion. At our core, we are not our thoughts, worries, anxieties, egos, or even our minds.

We exist as a conscious energy awareness that sits behind the veil of physical life. We are a part of it, but we are not it. Life occurs on the physical plan of existence. When we come the watcher or spectator of our lives we can better view and respond to our emotions.

We can begin to see the fear, stress, and anxiety for what they really are mostly — fragments of our past that come around to haunt us in our present moments.

We can remove anxiety from our lives almost completely and live a happier, healthier, more purpose filled and enjoyable life. Once we see anxiety for mostly for what it truly is, we can begin to live a life full of more health benefits and many other life changing elements.

How has anxiety crippled you in your life? Are you ready to rid yourself of this self-perpetuated and damaging emotion? What best practices have you employed to help move remove anxiety from your life? I would love to hear from you — please feel free to leave a comment and join in the conversation.

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